Today was a strange one- but I will cut to the chase.
I was working today in Louisa County, about an hour from my house. I was actually early, and sat enjoyed a nice conversation with the lady I was meeting. For what ever reason, she asked me about my son and some how it came up that he is adopted. She started gawking... people always have weird, different, uncomfortable reactions when I tell them that. I do not make a habit out of sharing Tristan's adoption story, not because we are ashamed or anything of the sort, but because I do not want his identity to be in his adoption. I don't want him known as the adopted kid or anything crazy like that. He is our son. Period.
So anyways, back to the story, this lady precedes to tell me that her close friend's granddaughter is pregnant, 17, and considering an abortion. She already has a 1 year old. Oh, Jesus. (I was literally talking to him.) I started crying. She started crying. This is why I am against abortion. Perfectly healthy mother, perfectly healthy baby, just born out of inconvenience. That baby may be killed because the mother doesn't want to chase another one around. Seriously? My heart is so broken. I would give ANYTHING (other than my family) to save that child. I would do anything possible to give that baby life, including raising him, loving him, and making him feel wanted. There are people who would line up at that girl's door waiting for that baby; Ladies who can and ladies who can not birth children. That child is wanted and needed in this world, even if it is not by the girl who is carrying him. Oh, how my heart is broken. I can not ever begin to describe to some one who has had children, when and how they planned them out- (meaning, let's get pregnant honey, ok, boom 9 months later the baby pops out. ) what is it like to be so torn.
Tristan wants a baby sister for Christmas!? He keeps telling me Jesus is going to bring him one. You know what? I believe him. I believe when you pray so earnestly for something, Jesus will answer your prayer. It may not look like we want it to, but maybe that 17 year old is carrying Tristan's sister. Who knows?
I realize I just rambled- and I am using terrible grammar and punctuation. I don't care. Tonight my heart is just crying out for LIFE for that precious child who deserves to live. I pray for that young girl to realize she is carrying a BABY and whether she can care for him/her or not, someone else can, and wants to. I also pray tonight for my son, who so desperately wants to have a baby sister, (in his words "the little kind") that Jesus will answer his prayer, for all of us. I also pray for the women out there who feel so alone because they do not know what to do next, and they feel trapped with a pregnancy, that someone will reach out to them and guide them.
Once again I am left thanking the Lord for my son, whose birth mother chose to give him life. I will forever be thankful and grateful to that very selfless lady. She is amazing.
The end to this story? I was walking out of this ladies house, selling her insurance none-the-less, and she grabbed me, hugged me, and prayed for me. I was so shocked... and get this... she prayed out loud for me to get that baby.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Women's Choices
I hate debates. I hate people arguing, fighting, de-friend-ing, and all of the other mess that comes along during election times. I also hate the word hate. But I seem to find myself using that word quite frequently lately as well, as far as this election goes. So, here, in the semi-privacy of my blog, I am going to use my freedom of speech and express how I feel about this....
We are in an incredible state of crisis in this country. Some, I feel, are too blinded to really see it, but the ones who do, generally focus on the tax issues, the economy, jobs, and all of those other very important issues that we have at hand. I am very much in agreement for lower gas prices, more jobs, lower taxes, borders having tighter security and so on and so on. I realize many of these issues are serious, and I do not in any way want to down play that. But what is weighing so heavily on my heart is women's rights. Maybe it is because I am a women, maybe I am just a softy, but I believe that women should have the right to make decisions about their own bodies. HOWEVER, I do not believe in women having the right to decide fatal decisions when it comes to the LIFE they are carrying. I know some will roll their eyes and immediately step up on their soap boxes at that comment, but this is my heart. I also realize that there are several decisions when it comes to abortion that are very sensitive such as rape and incest. I am not trying to make light of those situations, but the reality is that those cases are actually a very, very tiny percentage of the reported abortions. What I am mostly referring to is the fact that people are using abortions as a means of birth control with out one thought (or maybe they fight those thoughts??) as to the fact that the "tissue" they have inside them is in fact a baby. A baby who needs his/her mother to fight for it, not kill it.
I realize that a lot of the argument is that it is a women's right, it is her body. It is also an argument that if the child is "unwanted" anyways, why bring it into the world just to be put into foster care? I am here to tell you that they are TONS and TONS of families that would take those children. It is called adoption. It is also proven that once a birth mother sees her child on an ultrasound for the first time, she usually changes her mind about having an abortion.
I have always been pro-life. Always. But I was never really able speak out about it, or stand up for it because I had never really done any research on it. Well, I have been researching, and reading, and listening. And no, not just to conservatives who think the way I do, but to other sides as well. It is important to get the facts and to learn what is really going on, not just stand up for something that is what you THINK is going on. The truth is, abortion is murder. Killing innocent babies. I weep just thinking about what we are so blindly, as a nation, fighting over. How did we, as Americans, come to this? It breaks my heart.
A little over four years ago, there was a child whose parents were thinking about abortion. The dad was all for it, and the mom was a bit uncertain. She, although she was unable to figure out how to provide for her child, said plain and clearly, "I am the one who made the mistake, not him. He should no be killed because of my mistake." (paraphrased) I will forever be grateful that BOTH of those beautiful people chose life. Because, quite simply, they gave us their son. My child may never have been a part of my life. God orchestrated this family, and I am making a promise now to stand up for the little voices that need to be heard, that need to be born.
So, this year, although I am not crazy about everything that is going on in the political arena, and I will not get a total package with a canidiate who is for everything that I am, I am going to vote for LIFE. I am going to do my part to stand up for those tiny voices that need someone to fight for them. And I am going to pray, that some how, some way, God will open the eyes of our Nation to see the damage that is being done.
With MUCH love in my heart for these precious babies,
Ashley
We are in an incredible state of crisis in this country. Some, I feel, are too blinded to really see it, but the ones who do, generally focus on the tax issues, the economy, jobs, and all of those other very important issues that we have at hand. I am very much in agreement for lower gas prices, more jobs, lower taxes, borders having tighter security and so on and so on. I realize many of these issues are serious, and I do not in any way want to down play that. But what is weighing so heavily on my heart is women's rights. Maybe it is because I am a women, maybe I am just a softy, but I believe that women should have the right to make decisions about their own bodies. HOWEVER, I do not believe in women having the right to decide fatal decisions when it comes to the LIFE they are carrying. I know some will roll their eyes and immediately step up on their soap boxes at that comment, but this is my heart. I also realize that there are several decisions when it comes to abortion that are very sensitive such as rape and incest. I am not trying to make light of those situations, but the reality is that those cases are actually a very, very tiny percentage of the reported abortions. What I am mostly referring to is the fact that people are using abortions as a means of birth control with out one thought (or maybe they fight those thoughts??) as to the fact that the "tissue" they have inside them is in fact a baby. A baby who needs his/her mother to fight for it, not kill it.
I realize that a lot of the argument is that it is a women's right, it is her body. It is also an argument that if the child is "unwanted" anyways, why bring it into the world just to be put into foster care? I am here to tell you that they are TONS and TONS of families that would take those children. It is called adoption. It is also proven that once a birth mother sees her child on an ultrasound for the first time, she usually changes her mind about having an abortion.
I have always been pro-life. Always. But I was never really able speak out about it, or stand up for it because I had never really done any research on it. Well, I have been researching, and reading, and listening. And no, not just to conservatives who think the way I do, but to other sides as well. It is important to get the facts and to learn what is really going on, not just stand up for something that is what you THINK is going on. The truth is, abortion is murder. Killing innocent babies. I weep just thinking about what we are so blindly, as a nation, fighting over. How did we, as Americans, come to this? It breaks my heart.
A little over four years ago, there was a child whose parents were thinking about abortion. The dad was all for it, and the mom was a bit uncertain. She, although she was unable to figure out how to provide for her child, said plain and clearly, "I am the one who made the mistake, not him. He should no be killed because of my mistake." (paraphrased) I will forever be grateful that BOTH of those beautiful people chose life. Because, quite simply, they gave us their son. My child may never have been a part of my life. God orchestrated this family, and I am making a promise now to stand up for the little voices that need to be heard, that need to be born.
So, this year, although I am not crazy about everything that is going on in the political arena, and I will not get a total package with a canidiate who is for everything that I am, I am going to vote for LIFE. I am going to do my part to stand up for those tiny voices that need someone to fight for them. And I am going to pray, that some how, some way, God will open the eyes of our Nation to see the damage that is being done.
With MUCH love in my heart for these precious babies,
Ashley
Monday, July 30, 2012
Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens
Wednesday, my mom and I took Tristan to the botanical gardens. I love that place. My sister was married there almost 2 years ago and we love to go and just enjoy God's creation. It is GORGEOUS....
This year they have something new. In the conservatory, the converted one of the wings into a butterfly garden. You walk in and butterflies are EVERYWHERE. It is unbelievable. I do not think my pictures did a good job of capturing just how cool this experience was, but Tristan is still talking about it, so you know it was good. ;)
This year they have something new. In the conservatory, the converted one of the wings into a butterfly garden. You walk in and butterflies are EVERYWHERE. It is unbelievable. I do not think my pictures did a good job of capturing just how cool this experience was, but Tristan is still talking about it, so you know it was good. ;)
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| Tristan admiring the beautiful butterflies |
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| He was determined to "get that thing". |
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| CHEESE!!! Grammee and Tristan |
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| Man, I LOVE this kid. I am so blessed to be his Mommy! |
RAD 5K
For quite a few years now, I have wanted to get my tail in shape. In high school, like most people, I was in excellent shape. I was constantly playing sports or running track, and it did not take an ounce of effort to stay the way I wanted to. Then college hit......oops.....
I was going to sign up for a 10 almost 4 years ago, but for what ever reason, I never did. Then we got a call about Tristan, he was born, and needless to say, running was not my focus. :)
3 and a half years later, I finally ran my first race since high school track. Go me! I ran with Katie and Tim. (My sister and her husband) We had a GREAT time and I can't wait to do it again! I only hope that Ryan will do it with me next time. He says he will.
This race was Saturday, July 21st in Richmond. It was called the RAD 5k and it was quite a colorful experience!
I was going to sign up for a 10 almost 4 years ago, but for what ever reason, I never did. Then we got a call about Tristan, he was born, and needless to say, running was not my focus. :)
3 and a half years later, I finally ran my first race since high school track. Go me! I ran with Katie and Tim. (My sister and her husband) We had a GREAT time and I can't wait to do it again! I only hope that Ryan will do it with me next time. He says he will.
This race was Saturday, July 21st in Richmond. It was called the RAD 5k and it was quite a colorful experience!
Camp Shank
There is a place in the mountain that we have been going to our whole lives. We call this place Camp Shank. It has been in the family for over 100 years and belongs to all of us. There are many many acres in the middle of nowhere with a creek that runs rapidly through the front of the property. There are two ponds and up on the mountain, there is an old cemetery from the civil war. In my worldly mind, this place is really a shack. But if I were to say that to other family members, they may correct me...However, it is not about the house exactly, but about memories, history, and family time. This past June, we had a family reunion there. It was a great time. I was really excited about this trip because when I was a child, we would swim and play in the creek on the land, we would fish in the ponds, and we would eat and veg out! I was really looking forward to taking Tristan this year since he is old enough now to do all of those things. Ryan also got to go for the first time.
This trip was also special because my Granddaddy is going to be 95 in October. He is very dear to me and he got to come. It was so great to be surrounded by family! My life is so blessed...
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| Tristan kissing my cheek and holding on for dear life in the creek. |
Oh yes, and Tristan caught his very first fish with Granddad! So exciting!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Date night!
I get to go on a date tonight. A real.live.date. I am excited! Ryan and I just celebrated our birthdays. They are only 5 days apart. So, tonight we are leaving Tristan with a sitter, and heading out! I have to say, we have never really left Tristan with anyone other than family. He is 3 1/2 and is getting only his 2nd sitter ever. EEKKK!!! I do not think that Emily realizes I can be a bit neurotic about things when I leave my baby. He has been in the nursery at church and other similar situations, but never one on one with someone at home. To me, although it probably shouldn't be, it is very different. I guess it will be good for everyone.
Oh, yes, I have absolutely no idea where our date night is to. I just know I am going to shower, dress nicely, and enjoy being with my husband. ;)
Oh, yes, I have absolutely no idea where our date night is to. I just know I am going to shower, dress nicely, and enjoy being with my husband. ;)
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Beaching it up
Our dear friends, the RHEW family, invited us to join them in Manteo, NC for vacation. We love the Rhew's and were thrilled to spend a week with them and the Lester family and the Thomas family! Whew! Chaos....but fun!!!!
I will try to write more later, Ryan needs the computer, but here are some of my favorite pictures from the week.
I will try to write more later, Ryan needs the computer, but here are some of my favorite pictures from the week.
Simple days :-)
I just wanted to post on our day today. It was a simple day, nothing too crazy, but yet I am left going to bed realizing what a great day it has been. It started off with my mom coming to town to hang out for the day. I love my mom dearly. It is amazing how much I can take her for granted. She is so selfless and loving, and I could not, would not, be who I am today with out having had her in my life. (That was my necessary side note.) We took Tristan to his first dentist appointment this morning. They said he was the best patient they ever had. Now I am sure they say that a lot, but I am so super proud of him. He got x-rays, used the big boy electric toothbrush, and came out covered in stickers. He was a dream!
I wanted to do something special to celebrate his first successful trip to the dentist so we picked up lunch and had a picnic at the park. We went to a new park down on the Mattapponi River. We ate, Tristan played on the playground for a long time, then we walked down to the river. I had no idea that the river had such a wide, beautiful bank. Next time we are taking chairs and bathing suits! Tristan swam, in his clothes, the only dry ones I had for him......but the day and water was too nice not to. I learned my lesson, though, Always pack clothes! We saw a herron catch and eat a fish, too. We had a great time! I was so glad my mom could join us. I am going to apologize now for all spelling and crazy errors. I am typing this on the tablet and it is giving me a fit. sorry....
I hope tomorrow brings another days of smiles and sunshine! I am so blessed to be the Mama of the most loving, affectionate, and brilliant child. Life is good!
I wanted to do something special to celebrate his first successful trip to the dentist so we picked up lunch and had a picnic at the park. We went to a new park down on the Mattapponi River. We ate, Tristan played on the playground for a long time, then we walked down to the river. I had no idea that the river had such a wide, beautiful bank. Next time we are taking chairs and bathing suits! Tristan swam, in his clothes, the only dry ones I had for him......but the day and water was too nice not to. I learned my lesson, though, Always pack clothes! We saw a herron catch and eat a fish, too. We had a great time! I was so glad my mom could join us. I am going to apologize now for all spelling and crazy errors. I am typing this on the tablet and it is giving me a fit. sorry....
I hope tomorrow brings another days of smiles and sunshine! I am so blessed to be the Mama of the most loving, affectionate, and brilliant child. Life is good!
House and stuff...
When we first saw the house we now live in, Ryan and I immediately said, "NO WAY!" Well, we bought it anyways.... typical us :) So I wanted to put an update on how things are going with us and out transition to Fredericksburg, the house re-do, and life in general. So here goes nothing!
We moved into our house on March 17th. This was exactly one week after closing on it. We had to re-do literally the whole interior (and exterior but I am getting to that part) before we could move in. I realized a lot of things through this process. 1.) My husband is amazing. Yes, I already really knew this, but to see him in full action was awesome! He can do anything! He amazes me... 2.) After three days of nonstop cleaning and painting, I need a vacation 3.) We can do whatever we put our minds to.
I am going to post some before pictures of the inside then some after pictures. Enjoy!
Most of you have probably seen everything on Facebook, but I wanted to post the kitchen on here because it is my favorite room.
What I have not and probably won't post on FB are the outside pictures. So you select few will get to see those. ;)
Ok so no more pictures will post...hmmm.... I will have to come back to do that.
On another note, our transition to Fburg has been relatively smooth! Tristan really likes it here, as do Ryan and I. The subdivision we live in is amazing. There are trails all throughout the woods with a creek that runs along it. There are bridges and playgrounds, too! Tristan loves to go on the trail with me and Daddy and ride his scooter or bike. Ryan and I love it too because it gets us out and it is a great place for running or walking with the family. The pool is now open so you know where you can find us for the majority of the summer!
In addition, Tristan is starting preschool in the Fall. I am not sure how ready for this I am, but I know he needs this. He is an exceptionally social child and he needs to be around more people than just Mommy every day, all day. He will be going to school on Monday and Friday mornings from 9-12. I can not believe my baby boy is growing up! Whew, time flies! I am thrilled for him, though!
Ryan is ruling the real estate market up here. I am not bragging, just proud. ;) He is so good at his job, not because he is just a sales person, but because he really takes care of his clients. I am very proud of him. I am so happy to see him working so hard and having it pay off. In Farmville, he worked so hard, but it barely showed since there was no action what-so-ever. God is so good and has moved us to a thriving area!
As for me, I am still doing the same ole, same ole. I love being home with my little guy and being able to make lunch for Ryan on the days he is home for it. We get more family time than I thought we would. It has been great. I am hoping to meet more women, but that comes with time. I have made a few connections with some great people, and hopefully those relationships will continue to grow. All in time....
Well that was a mod podge of information, but I am terrible at keeping this thing updated so I figured this would do for today! Hopefully I will be able to get some more pictures to load soon.
This is our house. This picture shows the house after the replacement windows and during the replacement of the garage doors. I will try to do some close ups of the nastiness....
Prepping the house to start painting the window trim, shutters, and coins. We also pulled out all of the overgrown trees in the flower beds and replanted flowers and added mulch. Not the peeling porch and dingy color...
Khaki trim around windows and the coins above the window (original colors) and the faded shutters...
The window is now painted white and so is the coin. Still waiting on shutters...note the nasty porch railings...yuck...
I'll do another post in the next few days on the final total front transformation :) I am SO SO SO excited!!!
We moved into our house on March 17th. This was exactly one week after closing on it. We had to re-do literally the whole interior (and exterior but I am getting to that part) before we could move in. I realized a lot of things through this process. 1.) My husband is amazing. Yes, I already really knew this, but to see him in full action was awesome! He can do anything! He amazes me... 2.) After three days of nonstop cleaning and painting, I need a vacation 3.) We can do whatever we put our minds to.
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| BEFORE KITCHEN |
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| AFTER KITCHEN |
Most of you have probably seen everything on Facebook, but I wanted to post the kitchen on here because it is my favorite room.
What I have not and probably won't post on FB are the outside pictures. So you select few will get to see those. ;)
Ok so no more pictures will post...hmmm.... I will have to come back to do that.
On another note, our transition to Fburg has been relatively smooth! Tristan really likes it here, as do Ryan and I. The subdivision we live in is amazing. There are trails all throughout the woods with a creek that runs along it. There are bridges and playgrounds, too! Tristan loves to go on the trail with me and Daddy and ride his scooter or bike. Ryan and I love it too because it gets us out and it is a great place for running or walking with the family. The pool is now open so you know where you can find us for the majority of the summer!
In addition, Tristan is starting preschool in the Fall. I am not sure how ready for this I am, but I know he needs this. He is an exceptionally social child and he needs to be around more people than just Mommy every day, all day. He will be going to school on Monday and Friday mornings from 9-12. I can not believe my baby boy is growing up! Whew, time flies! I am thrilled for him, though!
Ryan is ruling the real estate market up here. I am not bragging, just proud. ;) He is so good at his job, not because he is just a sales person, but because he really takes care of his clients. I am very proud of him. I am so happy to see him working so hard and having it pay off. In Farmville, he worked so hard, but it barely showed since there was no action what-so-ever. God is so good and has moved us to a thriving area!
As for me, I am still doing the same ole, same ole. I love being home with my little guy and being able to make lunch for Ryan on the days he is home for it. We get more family time than I thought we would. It has been great. I am hoping to meet more women, but that comes with time. I have made a few connections with some great people, and hopefully those relationships will continue to grow. All in time....
Well that was a mod podge of information, but I am terrible at keeping this thing updated so I figured this would do for today! Hopefully I will be able to get some more pictures to load soon.
I'll do another post in the next few days on the final total front transformation :) I am SO SO SO excited!!!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Getting real....
In some ways I am a very private person. But I am learning that whatever battle you may be facing, some one else's could be that much greater. So, I am learning to be transparent. My struggles, though they are often my own, have the potential to influence or impact someone else. So why not use those struggles to help as many people as possible?
Having said that, everyone that knows me knows that Ryan and I have a passion for adoption. Medically, there is nothing wrong with us that is causing/allowing us to not conceive a child. This can be, and is a very real, raw, and heart wrenching situation to be in. Before Tristan entered our lives, I was an emotional wreck. All the time. Hearing about another pregnancy at work? Oh, boy... It does not, by any means, mean that I was not happy for that person. It was just another reminder that I may not ever get to experience that feeling, that joy. We started pursuing adoption before we really realized that conceiving a child was a very difficult thing for us. We always wanted to adopt so it was only natural to just jump right in. 3 years after starting the whole endeavor, we were miraculously blessed with our Tristan. God, as always, is faithful. If you know his whole story, you know what I mean...
But since Tristan, I have had such mixed, skewed emotions. First there is the, oh golly, one is plenty because lets face it, Tristan is ALL BOY and FULL OF ENERGY. But really, thats not what I want. I want him to be a big brother. So three years later, here we are, again. The only difference this time is I am not a wreck. I am not an emotional bomb waiting to go off, but I do wonder, what now? For some people, this is a no brainer, just have another child. We have not been given that luxury. We, for whatever unknown reason there is, have to jump through 903958734589374 hoops to even see what we can do to make this happen. Sometimes I get really, really discouraged by this. Other times, it is literally no big deal. So here is the latest on this one....
The last post I wrote about our purpose. What is our purpose in life????Right now, I am called to be a wife and a mother. This hit me really hard about 2 weeks ago. So naturally, I got on the internet :)
Yesterday we had a social worker come out to our house so we can get re-established in the system, updated, whatever you wanna call it. We have, again, several hoops to jump through. But that's ok. What hit me so hard a few weeks ago, and then again yesterday talking with DSS is, who is going to be the mother of those kids? The babies born on drugs, the babies born to incarcerated mothers, the 8th baby born into a family that is dirty, starving, longing to be loved. Why can't we? After Tristan was born, I totally lost sight of this belief that I have carried for so long. If I am so against abortion, which most of you know I am, then what am I going to do to prove it?
If we had conceived 3, 4, 5, 6 years ago, yes it has been that long....Tristan most likely would not be in our lives. That alone...wow.... I can't even fathom. Although I had temporarily lost my focus, I am now reminded that my purpose right now is to be a wife and a mother. Maybe not just a mother to Tristan, but a mother to whoever God blesses us with, either temporarily or permanently. Maybe we never get another child through DSS, but we won't know unless we try. So here we are, again, trusting God to grow our family the way He sees fit. And here I am again, letting you see into my world, however crazy it may be. :)
Something to leave you with. Out of the mouths of babes.... These are Tristan's words 3 days ago.
"Mama, I think kids without homes should come live with us."
(me) "Would you be ok with that? Sharing your toys and your house?"
"Yes, Mama. You can be their Mommy and Daddy can be their Daddy. That would make Jesus really happy."
Blessings!
Ashley
Having said that, everyone that knows me knows that Ryan and I have a passion for adoption. Medically, there is nothing wrong with us that is causing/allowing us to not conceive a child. This can be, and is a very real, raw, and heart wrenching situation to be in. Before Tristan entered our lives, I was an emotional wreck. All the time. Hearing about another pregnancy at work? Oh, boy... It does not, by any means, mean that I was not happy for that person. It was just another reminder that I may not ever get to experience that feeling, that joy. We started pursuing adoption before we really realized that conceiving a child was a very difficult thing for us. We always wanted to adopt so it was only natural to just jump right in. 3 years after starting the whole endeavor, we were miraculously blessed with our Tristan. God, as always, is faithful. If you know his whole story, you know what I mean...
But since Tristan, I have had such mixed, skewed emotions. First there is the, oh golly, one is plenty because lets face it, Tristan is ALL BOY and FULL OF ENERGY. But really, thats not what I want. I want him to be a big brother. So three years later, here we are, again. The only difference this time is I am not a wreck. I am not an emotional bomb waiting to go off, but I do wonder, what now? For some people, this is a no brainer, just have another child. We have not been given that luxury. We, for whatever unknown reason there is, have to jump through 903958734589374 hoops to even see what we can do to make this happen. Sometimes I get really, really discouraged by this. Other times, it is literally no big deal. So here is the latest on this one....
The last post I wrote about our purpose. What is our purpose in life????Right now, I am called to be a wife and a mother. This hit me really hard about 2 weeks ago. So naturally, I got on the internet :)
Yesterday we had a social worker come out to our house so we can get re-established in the system, updated, whatever you wanna call it. We have, again, several hoops to jump through. But that's ok. What hit me so hard a few weeks ago, and then again yesterday talking with DSS is, who is going to be the mother of those kids? The babies born on drugs, the babies born to incarcerated mothers, the 8th baby born into a family that is dirty, starving, longing to be loved. Why can't we? After Tristan was born, I totally lost sight of this belief that I have carried for so long. If I am so against abortion, which most of you know I am, then what am I going to do to prove it?
If we had conceived 3, 4, 5, 6 years ago, yes it has been that long....Tristan most likely would not be in our lives. That alone...wow.... I can't even fathom. Although I had temporarily lost my focus, I am now reminded that my purpose right now is to be a wife and a mother. Maybe not just a mother to Tristan, but a mother to whoever God blesses us with, either temporarily or permanently. Maybe we never get another child through DSS, but we won't know unless we try. So here we are, again, trusting God to grow our family the way He sees fit. And here I am again, letting you see into my world, however crazy it may be. :)
Something to leave you with. Out of the mouths of babes.... These are Tristan's words 3 days ago.
"Mama, I think kids without homes should come live with us."
(me) "Would you be ok with that? Sharing your toys and your house?"
"Yes, Mama. You can be their Mommy and Daddy can be their Daddy. That would make Jesus really happy."
Blessings!
Ashley
What is MY purpose?
Since I have been in Fredericksburg, and well, before we moved here, I have wondered what I should be doing. Sometimes I feel guilty that I am a SAHM and get to hang out with the coolest kid ever, every day, all day. Other times, I am being transparent here, I want to bury my head in the sand and hide for days because I wonder how I can be a SAHM. But, I am a mom, I am a wife, and I do, no matter what, love my life.
But that can't be it. Can it? I don't think so.
I think that we are all here for a reason. Not just to exist, but to really serve a greater purpose. Some people are doctors, lawyers, farmers, teachers, just to name a few, and all of those jobs are incredibly important. I am a wife and a mom. Equally important and difficult jobs. My purpose, right now, at this point in my life, is to be the best wife and the best mother I can be. I am going to make a better effort at being the best I can be. I have been given an amazing husband and child, and I do not ever want to take either of them for granted, although, I know I do. Quite often...
So really, I just wrote this for me. As a reminder to myself to not minimize my day to day job. You just got to peek into my head for a few minutes ;)
But that can't be it. Can it? I don't think so.
I think that we are all here for a reason. Not just to exist, but to really serve a greater purpose. Some people are doctors, lawyers, farmers, teachers, just to name a few, and all of those jobs are incredibly important. I am a wife and a mom. Equally important and difficult jobs. My purpose, right now, at this point in my life, is to be the best wife and the best mother I can be. I am going to make a better effort at being the best I can be. I have been given an amazing husband and child, and I do not ever want to take either of them for granted, although, I know I do. Quite often...
So really, I just wrote this for me. As a reminder to myself to not minimize my day to day job. You just got to peek into my head for a few minutes ;)
The whirlwind
So we have a contract on our house, and we had 45 (I think??) days to move out. We had no where to go and bid after bid that we made on houses in Fredericksburg fell through. Graciously, my parents offered for us to live with them. We got a house, finally, but it needed SERIOUS amounts of work on it. It was an absolutely nasty foreclosure. Everything single thing in it, and I mean every single thing in it, needed redone, ripped out and replaced or cleaned. So we painted, fixed, scrubbed until our fingers were raw. Literally....
A week later, we moved in. I think that is a record! So to date, a month later, we have replaced all flooring in the whole house, painted the whole interior, replaced 4 potties, 3 vanities, mirrors, ac unit, all appliances, lighting,heat pump, and the list goes on and on.
In addition to the house, Ryan started working for Keller Williams selling real estate. What a blessing. Ryan is fantastic at his job. Really. I am not just saying that because I have to. But let's face it. Farmville was not the booming real estate market. He is doing really well here and I am excited to see him happy. In addition to this, Ryan is still taking classes at the Fredericksburg Prayer Furnace. This is the ministry that he is a part of. This is why we are here. We are still starting to see the unfolding of all our prayers for our purpose in Fredericksburg, but we know, with out a shadow of a doubt, that we are where we are supposed to be. We are still walking by faith, trusting for God to provide. But, He has never let us down and we know that He won't now, either.
So for all of you that think we are crazy, maybe we are. Maybe we are a bit radical, but we are cool with that. There is no turning back for us. After this past year of seeing how God has spoken to us, provided for us, and loved us, there is no way we can deny Him. Although, I know I fail miserably, quite often, He has never let me down and I know He never will.
A week later, we moved in. I think that is a record! So to date, a month later, we have replaced all flooring in the whole house, painted the whole interior, replaced 4 potties, 3 vanities, mirrors, ac unit, all appliances, lighting,heat pump, and the list goes on and on.
In addition to the house, Ryan started working for Keller Williams selling real estate. What a blessing. Ryan is fantastic at his job. Really. I am not just saying that because I have to. But let's face it. Farmville was not the booming real estate market. He is doing really well here and I am excited to see him happy. In addition to this, Ryan is still taking classes at the Fredericksburg Prayer Furnace. This is the ministry that he is a part of. This is why we are here. We are still starting to see the unfolding of all our prayers for our purpose in Fredericksburg, but we know, with out a shadow of a doubt, that we are where we are supposed to be. We are still walking by faith, trusting for God to provide. But, He has never let us down and we know that He won't now, either.
So for all of you that think we are crazy, maybe we are. Maybe we are a bit radical, but we are cool with that. There is no turning back for us. After this past year of seeing how God has spoken to us, provided for us, and loved us, there is no way we can deny Him. Although, I know I fail miserably, quite often, He has never let me down and I know He never will.
The big move
On to a more serious note....
THE BIG MOVE...hmmmm....Where to begin this one.
A little over a year ago, Ryan and I had many things pressed on our hearts. For starters, we claim to be Christians, which we are, but we did not feel that we were being totally obedient to the calling that we have on our lives. While this may offend some, though that is not my intention, we feel that we had become very complacent in our walk with the Lord. We loved our church, the youth, (Ryan was youth Pastor) and our lives and friends. But something really big was missing and we really could not put our finger on it. Through lots of prayer, we realized that God was calling us out of our comfort zone and into something new, different, and pretty scary. He wanted us to move. But here is the catcher, I was quitting my job, Ryan works on commission, and we had no idea why we were moving or where money would come from. I think when He commands us to walk by faith, this is what He is talking about. I honestly never thought I'd have the guts to go through with this. I will make this VERY LONG story as short as possible :)
So the real journey began. We finally submitted to God. I put in resignation with the schools and became and full time SAHM. We knew for a while this would also result in Ryan resigning from his position at the church, but for several months we couldn't say anything about that. Ryan resigned from the church in December of 2010. Jan or Feb of 2011 we put our house on the market and started going to New Life AG. We assumed that since we did what we felt we were to do by quitting jobs and putting our house on the market, that we would move right away....WRONG. We had our first Sunday at New Life on January 7th. I have never felt so out of place but yet in the right place before. Let me explain.
I was brought up in a Presbyterian Chuch. I married Ryan and became Baptist which was, to me, a big deal. Now, here we are Pentecostal. Ha! So needless to say, everything was a bit new. But, we absolutely fell in love with the people at New Life, and more importantly, we fell in love, in a new fresh way, with God. Exactly part of His perfect plan.
We kept sensing that we would have a year of sitting still in the Lord and listening to what He has planned for us. Again, hear from the Lord? What on earth. But, I am learning, He does speak to us, in so many ways. We sat for a year, literally, soaking up everything we possibly could. Lo and behold, exactly to the day, a year later, we got an offer on our house.
Then the real whirlwind began.... The will be in the next post :)
THE BIG MOVE...hmmmm....Where to begin this one.
A little over a year ago, Ryan and I had many things pressed on our hearts. For starters, we claim to be Christians, which we are, but we did not feel that we were being totally obedient to the calling that we have on our lives. While this may offend some, though that is not my intention, we feel that we had become very complacent in our walk with the Lord. We loved our church, the youth, (Ryan was youth Pastor) and our lives and friends. But something really big was missing and we really could not put our finger on it. Through lots of prayer, we realized that God was calling us out of our comfort zone and into something new, different, and pretty scary. He wanted us to move. But here is the catcher, I was quitting my job, Ryan works on commission, and we had no idea why we were moving or where money would come from. I think when He commands us to walk by faith, this is what He is talking about. I honestly never thought I'd have the guts to go through with this. I will make this VERY LONG story as short as possible :)
So the real journey began. We finally submitted to God. I put in resignation with the schools and became and full time SAHM. We knew for a while this would also result in Ryan resigning from his position at the church, but for several months we couldn't say anything about that. Ryan resigned from the church in December of 2010. Jan or Feb of 2011 we put our house on the market and started going to New Life AG. We assumed that since we did what we felt we were to do by quitting jobs and putting our house on the market, that we would move right away....WRONG. We had our first Sunday at New Life on January 7th. I have never felt so out of place but yet in the right place before. Let me explain.
I was brought up in a Presbyterian Chuch. I married Ryan and became Baptist which was, to me, a big deal. Now, here we are Pentecostal. Ha! So needless to say, everything was a bit new. But, we absolutely fell in love with the people at New Life, and more importantly, we fell in love, in a new fresh way, with God. Exactly part of His perfect plan.
We kept sensing that we would have a year of sitting still in the Lord and listening to what He has planned for us. Again, hear from the Lord? What on earth. But, I am learning, He does speak to us, in so many ways. We sat for a year, literally, soaking up everything we possibly could. Lo and behold, exactly to the day, a year later, we got an offer on our house.
Then the real whirlwind began.... The will be in the next post :)
Halloween 2011
We had a BLAST on Halloween!!! Ryan and I wanted for all 3 of us to dress with a common theme, and he had this idea. What fun! Tristan thought it was hilarious, too. He told everyone he was a nerd. :)
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| Trying out the glasses the night before Halloween |
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| Cute family of nerds |
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| My most favorite nerds ever! |
Backing up again....FALL 2011
In November, I think, we went to Pennsylvania to see Ryan's dad and Pat. We love getting to visit family there. Tristan loves their house, too, because they have a great place outside to play. Boys will be boys :)
PapPap, Daddy and Tristan looking for the next fish or frog victim.
Uh, Oh....
It is just a hose.... Ha!
King of the mini mountain
Tristan and Pap Pap
Tristan is THREE!!!
My baby boy is 3! I can't believe how the time has flown by...
Birthdays are special. I think that EVERYONE deserves their day to be celebrated and shown how amazing they are. I hope that Tristan knows this.
His birthday is January 28th. This year, it happened to fall on a Saturday. It is important to Ryan and to myself that we have our own little family celebration with just the three of us. For this reason, Tristan ended up with two parties. One with just us, and one with his friends and family. He is so loved....
Tristan's birthday party invitation
CHEESE!!
Tristan's dirt bike cake
PINATA!!!!
The boys on the Jeep. Ha! Tristan was hanging on for dear life not to be left out...
Remote control car!!! ooohhhh!!!!
Tristan's big present from Mommy and Daddy. He LOVES his scooter!
Birthdays are special. I think that EVERYONE deserves their day to be celebrated and shown how amazing they are. I hope that Tristan knows this.
His birthday is January 28th. This year, it happened to fall on a Saturday. It is important to Ryan and to myself that we have our own little family celebration with just the three of us. For this reason, Tristan ended up with two parties. One with just us, and one with his friends and family. He is so loved....
Backing up from December to October
I need to go back to October....
Tristan's adoption day is October 7th. We spend this day each year celebrating him being a part of our family by having a special family day. Since this year he was only 2, we kinda picked something special for him, but I think he was ok with it. :) We went to Busch Gardens Williamsburg. We had a BLAST. I really had NO idea what fun that could be with a toddler. It was an AMAZING day.
We started in the kiddie park and Ryan and I were concerned that Tristan would be scared or intimidated by the rides. They were kiddie rides, but still. He had never been on anything like them. We were SO wrong.... He fell in LOVE with them. In fact, the kiddie rides were not fast enough for him. At one point, he and I were on this mini berzerker ride thing, and he said, "Mama. When is it going to go faster?" I was already dizzy.....
After lunch, I mean RIGHT AFTER LUNCH, he saw the adult sized scrambler. He asked to go on it. Fortunately for him, he could ride as long as he had an adult with him. Unfortunately for me, I had just eaten a monster plate of food and Ryan doesn't ride spinney rides :) Let's just say we rode it two times in a row since no one else was in line, and I had to pull Tristan off when it finished. Dare devil....
As much as he liked the rides, his favorite thing of all time was the gondola rides that take you in the air across the park. He thought it was a train in the sky :)
I am having a hard time locating the pictures on this computer. When I find them, I will post them. OOps!
Tristan's adoption day is October 7th. We spend this day each year celebrating him being a part of our family by having a special family day. Since this year he was only 2, we kinda picked something special for him, but I think he was ok with it. :) We went to Busch Gardens Williamsburg. We had a BLAST. I really had NO idea what fun that could be with a toddler. It was an AMAZING day.
We started in the kiddie park and Ryan and I were concerned that Tristan would be scared or intimidated by the rides. They were kiddie rides, but still. He had never been on anything like them. We were SO wrong.... He fell in LOVE with them. In fact, the kiddie rides were not fast enough for him. At one point, he and I were on this mini berzerker ride thing, and he said, "Mama. When is it going to go faster?" I was already dizzy.....
After lunch, I mean RIGHT AFTER LUNCH, he saw the adult sized scrambler. He asked to go on it. Fortunately for him, he could ride as long as he had an adult with him. Unfortunately for me, I had just eaten a monster plate of food and Ryan doesn't ride spinney rides :) Let's just say we rode it two times in a row since no one else was in line, and I had to pull Tristan off when it finished. Dare devil....
As much as he liked the rides, his favorite thing of all time was the gondola rides that take you in the air across the park. He thought it was a train in the sky :)
I am having a hard time locating the pictures on this computer. When I find them, I will post them. OOps!
Christmas part II
Here are some more pictures of Christmas...
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| Making a gingerbread house out of graham crackers....and LOTS of candy! |
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| Daddy may have had the most fun! |
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| Can't seem to rotate this, but Tristan was opening his Christmas Eve present. A travel size magna doodle |
So far behind...
Welp, it seems I have more than a few months to make up for! So here goes nothing.... Hopefully by the end of today I will be totally caught up with the main events since last September. EEKKK!!
Let's start with Christmas 2011 :)
Then the grandparents showed up....
Matching up Dominoes!
Paul and Sandy aka MeMaw and PePaw
Grammee and Tristan
There are probably a hundred other pictures to choose from, so I will find a few more, but the best part of Christmas is that we get to spend it with family. We love our family (both sides of course) so much, and we are so thankful and blessed to have each of them in our lives! This year was especially cool because Tristan is old enough now to start to understand, as much as he can, what the TRUE meaning of Christmas is. As he learns more and more about Jesus, it is cool to be able to celebrate His birthday and not have Christmas be just presents.
There are probably a hundred other pictures to choose from, so I will find a few more, but the best part of Christmas is that we get to spend it with family. We love our family (both sides of course) so much, and we are so thankful and blessed to have each of them in our lives! This year was especially cool because Tristan is old enough now to start to understand, as much as he can, what the TRUE meaning of Christmas is. As he learns more and more about Jesus, it is cool to be able to celebrate His birthday and not have Christmas be just presents.
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